At this point, so close to coming back, is where I'm terribly missing home. I've sort of been counting down the days to our departure for a few weeks now. Today starts the last week of my stay here and all I can think about is what I want to do, eat and see when I get back. I've never been the kind who gets really homesick and it's funny I'm like this now. I'm used to living apart from family since high school (since Pisay, really) and I'm not the cariñosa type at all. But home is home, and I can't wait to go back to GMT +8.
This longing to go home peaked when I started to think and plan about the trip some of my friends and I will be taking in July. Being out of college I always look forward to spending time with friends, chatting and catching up, sometimes reminiscing and dreaming even. Sometimes we'd get to serious stuff, what we want to do with our lives, our current positions. What strikes me, after some thought, is how similar our thinking are at times. Maybe that's why we're friends, or somehow because we're friends we feed ideas off each other that we've grow to a certain inclination as a group. It's always wonderful to talk with people whom you can talk anything and everything about, without fear of offending or misunderstanding. It's not about agreeing on the same things, but actually sparking intellectual conversations. But of course when it comes to gossip, no specific level or frame of mind is really needed. :)
On some level, I am a bit saddened that I got to go around and introduce to my relatives my work friends instead of my dearest friends. I know it's mean to think this, but somehow there's this impression my relatives have that my work friends and I are closer than we really are and I don't like it. I wish my becky friends were with me in New York. I wish my geeky physics friends were with me in Chicago. I wish my brothers and cousins were with me in Wisconsin. Maybe it's just the homesickness that's talking because I did have a good time with my work friends, but I just feel so meh thinking how I wish my actual friends were with me.
I don't really have a list of things I tick off when I make
friends, I just go by how things go. But one thing I know is that I
gravitate to people who are tolerant and open minded rather than
discriminating and picky. I've made friends here and there but there are always certain people who will speak to you more plus I don't think I consider someone a treasured friend that easily. That said, I am not discounting the possibility of adding some more people into my inner circles, it's just that I'm the type who likes small tight groups.
Thankfully, in a week's time I'll be back in Manila. Never having stayed this far away from home before, I really feel that Manila is where I want to be; counterarguments are aplenty and to explain myself would steer this entry off its already wonky track so let's leave it at that. I love to travel and I want to travel as much as I could, but my heart belongs to the Philippines for so many reasons starting with the people who keep me happy and sane.
