Via: Online PhD Programs

Buti nalang I'm not in grad school.
Yet.

I cleaned my area last Thursday. 

And then I attended the NIP recog the day after.

This picture I grabbed from BA's tumblr.

  

Manong

There will always be time for fussball.

Geek stuff or fashion, there's always Ma'am May. ;)

Leaving NIP is bittersweet.

I don't have pics for a grad entry yet, next time.

IPL Grad Partey

I confess, I had a camera with me but I didn't cover the event. But quite luckily, because I didn't know I had little battery life left, I got Milli to snap a picture of our group before everyone headed wherever.

Top: Jill, Nicole, Tricia, Tin, Ganni, Eloi, Ianne, Master

Bottom: Jeff, Thirdy, Andy, Atchong

Shiz, the only way to see the pictures from my other labmates is through facebook!

Defensive

One step closer to graduation! Thanks to bear hands, friends, google, panel members, and of course dear adviser.

Past 3 PM yesterday, we lost power in the building. Andy and Jonats were still in the middle of their defense and I was cramming some fits in my plots. In the midst of UPS machines beeping annoyingly I almost thought my defense would have to be resecheduled. Gosh, how awful would that have been.

Ma'am Jing :)

Let's do this! 

Several minutes later my adviser and friends came up, Andy's defense was over. My turn wasn't until 4 PM but I was advised to get ready because my defense can still push through because it's still light outside and overall the situation was under control. When I got down to R211, there was a generator and a flat screen monitor. Love you VIP people. Pdfs of my slides were distributed to my panel members and we were set.

Nearing the end of my abstract slide, we gained power. Yes. The presentation went okay, though my panel members commented that I did not explain much and did a lot of hand waving. Sorry Sirs! And I will make my paper worth of the results, swear. I will take the revision notes very seriously.

We got the power.

Dakilang adviser, Sir Ganni.

The super Ma'am May.

The infamous bear hands!

Panel members: Dr. Almoro (front) and Dr. Ramos (back).

BA took pictures, posted on his fb wall. Pictures of other people who had their defense are there as well. I think it has sunk in now, we are done batch '06! Bar revisions, we are set to march! I'm so happy, I can't think of anything else to say.

Finally.

Sir Ganns treated our group to dinner at Kamirori. We even had a "bati na" picture taken, I think in Ate Ianne's camera. Then after, fellow IPL batchmates and I went to Padi's Antipolo and chatted away until 2 AM over drinks, pizza and sisig. The big hurdle is indeed over. Pirmado na! 

Everyone who helped make my defense possible, thank you. Special mention goes to Che, who according to Ma'am May has offered to give her laptop to one of my panel members so that my slides can be viewed. <3

Cheers!

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Photos from BA :)

STS is over! Yes. I felt really good about the exam. My favorite topics were asked in my questionnaire so I had no problem answering the exam, I even had a few questions I wanted to answer but didn't have to. Kinda lucky I guess.

1. Language, Biology and Culture

2. Science Fiction Films and Critique of Society

I'm not so down into psychology, it's a very subjective and qualitative field that I don't feel that much comfortable towards its findings. But of course, most of the time we don't like what we don't understand or what we're not familiar with. This is to say that I think Ma'am Chey (tama ba spelling?) made me rethink my notion of psychology. While it is still unquantifiable (at least from where I stand, physics) I find the fields and issues we had in class interesting as well as mind-blowing, in forms of ideas I've never even thought of before. Just last meeting while we were discussing about human nature a very staggering question was raised: if our consciousness and rationality were the basis for our being human, what about the mentally ill? Nawalan ako ng prinsipyong pinanghahawakan, so to speak.

Moments like that make me think how great a class I'm attending is. Then there's the big teacher factor and a good pinch of overall class atmosphere that makes you want to recommend the class to everyone you meet. I am so thankful for the RGEP right now, for giving me that chance to pick my GEs and enlist in classes like my Soc Sci 1 under Ms. Billedo.

Quite sadly, I also realized that I used to relish in physics this much when I'm introduced into new subjects. I must admit that I did enjoy solving 112 or 141 problems even, though I often had a hard time. Now, I don't know if because of senioritis or just plain lack of interest that I don't feel that way anymore. Of course, I still like discovering things in my research work but I don't really remember feeling that elated to learn how lasers work when I took a class about them last semester. 

This is why I need to get a job or whatever after graduation, I need a break from school and time to realize if I do want to come back for a higher degree. Yuh, that higher degree in physics. Or if not, find out what I want to study further.

Let me count the ways..

All I've been doing lately is finishing my manuscript, and I've been postponing some things I should also take care of or do. Actually, org things mostly. I am super AWOL. I have valid reasons, but somehow I feel guilty. I did take the responsibility. 

At the same time I want to do so many things. One thing I remembered I should be doing is catching up on my reading for the TBR Pile Challenge. I originally wanted to proceed with To Kill A Mockingbird but I think I'll read some of the more "pop" books first for lighter reading. I'm so eager to do so many things after submitting but I think it's just the stress talking. But really, I feel like I should really party hard or something after this feat. 

Come to think of it, this is technically a Valentine's Day post. So, let's end on a sort of related note. :p

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Comics strip from PhD Comics. 

Right on cue, as always.  ;)

During our RM earlier, my adviser asked me, "Mage-MS ka ba?"

To which I replied, a smile and "Hindi ko pa po alam."

Sowwww.

Tense

As in. I am so tense because of STS. I didn't know Dr. Nemenzo counts a late as an absence right away. So, I am completely maxed out of allowed absences! But it does help that Dr. Nemenzo kindly and promptly answered my emails regarding what I thought was bad math. I am less tense at least.

Gah.

Tricia, from now on, arrive at VLC always before 11:30am.

Earrings matter.

My coils failed me today. No new data :(
Good thing Ina has a game on Sat at 2pm, meaning we'd have to go home to the province later as planned so I can still work. Wooh. Thesis it.

Weird enough, a "the dog ate my homework" moment happened last night. Bea and I were in the sort of study nook here in the house and suddenly the internet went off and I saw the router and the broadband go off. Ayun, no current. Low voltage or short circuit, I don't really know. Thank god the other outlets are working just fine and we have extension cord to up the internet again.

Yeah, Bones is my current TV addiction (aside from The Good Wife and Dexter which I started watching again) and it's probably a factor why I'm slacking in thesis writing. But really, I am just so unsure how to write it. 

My work is an offshoot, and quite frankly I don't know how to write something that is almost just the same thing. Yes, I was made to do more theoretical work on the topic and we were exploring new ideas that are sadly not yet in fruition but I feel conflicted. Very much so. I've hardly done anything new and I can't write, knowing that what I'll say has been already said. And I can't write based on what I think I can do just because, and it'll be so weird. 

I can't write not knowing what point I want to make. Crap. 

I am a semicolon.

I love my English 11 class. I may not be getting the highest grades, but I am learning so much. Ayos :)

Today we discussed several poems, including Jose Garcia Villa's concrete poems: The Bashful One and The Emperor's New Sonnet. I am totally clueless in poetry, as I have said before, and these two are among the poems in our reading list that I cannot grasp by myself. But today, I have found admiration for concrete poems especially The Bashful One.

Concrete poems are poems that rely on their aesthetic organization to extend their message. Or something like that. The Bashful One is basically a poem that includes a single punctuation mark, a comma is the widely received understanding of the said punctuation mark. (Hay poetry you are in so many levels subjective!) So what does a comma mean? Commas are used to pause, usually for emphasis or division in a sentence. It can mean hesitance, prudence, delay or whatever that may cause discontinuity. But right after the comma, there is always something that follows, a continuation. You can always depend on that.

The Bashful One with the space divided into quadrants.

Now the placement of the comma in the third quadrant, in terms of Cartesian space would render it in the space of negative x and negative y. Going down the literature route of this conjecture, it is in a position where the comma would seem unimportant since the most memorable parts of a piece are usually in the first and last portion or in the top left and bottom right of the space. We read left to right, from top to bottom and the comma is located where one would most likely to miss it. So why in the world would Jose Garcia Villa place the all indispensable comma in a quadrant of little importance? Wala lang.

The bashful one, the comma, is in literal terms the shy little punctuation mark. Let's dissect the title for some more insight. First is the definite article 'the', joined by the adjective 'bashful', and then the indefinite pronoun 'one'. It's almost oxymoronic that the definite article and the indefinite pronoun refer to the same object. The contrast is further enhanced when you take into account the term 'one', which is used here as an indefinite pronoun while it also means singular or unique. These choice of words make you think, what the shy one is shy about or why is it quiet in one corner. It's like the bashful one is really a modest and humble little comma, which is timid and simple yet full of substance because it always follows through. At this point, the bashful one is not just a comma anymore. A poem may refer to a chair, a punctuation mark or a blank space but in the end it's all about humanity, about human nature. Crazy and amazing at the same time.

Before discussion, we were asked if we were a punctuation mark which one would we be.  A majority said they were question marks and a handful declared they were exclamation points. I simply said I think I am a semicolon, because I pause, but then I continue. Oha. Spontaneous answers are the most honest answers, but even I was surprised how my answer came to be. Even more so when we were closing in on The Bashful One when I realized how similar how I felt as a punctuation mark and what that heck of a poem touches on.

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On a side note, my ostentatious and very loud seat mate had a bit of a slap in the face when our teacher concluded that great (read: intelligent, skilled, etc) people are usually quiet and shy. Haha. In yo face!

Low Batt

This week has been nothing but all about SPP. It is my last year as an undergrad (believe!) and I do want to say there has been fruit in my endeavors in research. That is, I want to at least have a paper this coming SPP.

But, dear lord, I am so tired right now.

I got home around 10:20, and yes I spent the whole day in the lab. Got frustrated over bad samples, a bit crazy over cleaning glassware, and a little impatient in handling data. I hope that when I process these, they'll be worth it.

What's worse is that I also have to present a seminar tomorrow. As in, the one with Dean Saloma. I chose a topic a few weeks ago, so I agreed when Jeff asked me to switch schedules a few days ago (I'm originally scheduled next week) because he has a wedding to attend. But things didn't go as smoothly as planned, and what I thought would be an easy task to squeeze in is now a big burden. I can't think well enough to make my slides. Ano ba yan.

Hay. At least I have that Mang Inasal date with Andy and Nicole on Monday to look forward to. Yay?

Loving Short Stories!

Yip. Yip. Because novels are too lengthy to read, at least right now when my sem is getting heavy already, and because English 11 introduced me to 13 good pieces, I've picked up several short stories recently.

Yesterday, I had no change for my fare home so I went around SM for a while thinking of what small item to purchase so that I'll break my bill. I went as far as the Annex side of the main building and got to Book Sale. It was hard to see where the classics were, because they don't have a category for classics. So I went around browsing titles, which is actually something I enjoy. It's a great way to waste time. Hehe

I was about to purchase The Essential Hemingway and then I saw Literature: A Portable Anthology. It's a compilation of 35 short stories, 250 poems, and 9 plays. I don't really care about the plays nor the poems, just the 35 short stories. I think it's really meant as a textbook, and my hunch was verified when I saw the preface with the tone that it was meant for teaching. I haven't checked, but I hope a chunk of the poems we'll be discussing in English 11 will in the book.

Also, I am really curious about Stieg Larsson's Millennium Trilogy. Must check it out soon.

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My parents treated me to a fabulous Sumo Sam lunch today. Probably my favorite Japanese resto to date. :)

May Day Eve

I originally planned to post my reflection papers for English 11 here, but almost every piece ended up being crammed. I didn't want to post something I'm not really sure of, so I let go of the idea. As of this writing I'm kind of reviewing for our upcoming exam, regarding 13 short stories. Yep, that much. Ma'am Lalaine is actually a good teacher, quite on the heavy side of the acad load meter, but at this point I've realized that good teachers really compel you to do more.

As I was writing the elements of each narrative like a grade school student, I remembered that session when we were asked which of the four short stories about love we most liked as a class. My classmates shouted A Love Story in a snap, while I was dumbfounded and I failed to utter May Day Eve. Kaya dito nalang ako sa blog magrreason out.

Let me introduce you to the story first. May Day Eve was written by one of our National Artists for Literature, Nick Joaquin. It is set in the colonial era, and is as stated in the title, during a May day eve.  The story focuses on Badoy and Agueda, the two lovers whose fate was forever changed by a said May day eve.

It's hard to condense an already brief story, but here's a shot. Agueda was with her friends, and their yaya told them of a superstition that if you take a candle and go to a dark room with a mirror alone and chant: "Mirror, mirror, show to me him whose woman I will be " she'll see the man she will marry. But if things go wrong, one will see the devil. Consequently, she saw Badoy. He was coming from his pack wanting a place to lie on because he was feeling sick. They argued and felt conflicting emotions. Later it was implied that they got married. And during the course of the story, it is revealed that they really love each other whilst being nonchalant about it in front of each other. 

We read four short stories that revolved around love, the other three were A Story of Love by Ray Bradbury, How My Brother Leon Brought Home a Wife by Manuel Arguilla, Dead Stars by Paz Marquez Benitez. I like May Day Eve most because it was the story that had more depth for me. The other stories, I understood almost right away while with this one I had doubts on my interpretation. This story bore so many realizations when we discussed it in class, the most prominent of those is that one should not be proud in love, or in any relationship for that matter. Pride hampers all good things. Pride creates a wall that makes it harder to communicate, harder to share, harder to work things out. Pride is the root of regret. Because of these things that were left unsaid or undone, regret will surely follow.

Mr. Joaquin has crafted a real classic with this story, and now I think I'm a step closer to understanding why he's one of our most celebrated writers apart from May Day Eve's super duper long opening sentence slash paragraph. Enveloped in the simple story is a theme that's actually a bit trivial once you think about it. It's certainly not easy to impart a clear message while just going around it, writers who can are truly gifted in my opinion. I haven't read any other work of his to speak of his style, but I'm now curious enough to make an effort to get a hold of a few more.

I am really enjoying my English 11 under Dr. Yanilla-Aquino. It's like 185 and 186, demanding as hell but really worth it at the end of the day. ;)

Why yes, but why?

Optics was my first choice when I was still an applicant in IPL. It was a popular choice. I enjoyed our Optics under Sir Garry back in high school, it seemed cool and interesting plus I had no idea what Complex Systems were, and of course my close friends in IPL were under the Optics faction. I was completely shocked to find out that I was accepted to the Complex Systems group, but like everything else I got settled in and I realized the ubiquitous applications of this field. 

Frankly, I think I'm a bad research student. I feel like I don't perform very well, and that I can do so much more but I am at a loss why I am such. My adviser is patient and encouraging, that I feel guilty even more. Ha. What's more is that he invited me to the Saturday Optics group. Not that I have a choice, but really, seriously?

I've shied away from Optics after 165, and I didn't really pay attention much after that. I didn't think I'll be needing it, but now it seems that I do.

Last First Sem

My Form 5A now bears the ever red and ever powerful word, Graduating. My enrollment took about four hours yesterday, which was a bit of a downer since I wanted to be finished in two hours. However, my Adviser was not yet in UP and was not available until yesterday afternoon. Good thing Dr. Bantang came around 10 am and I got him to sign my enrollment materials. Yahoo for that!

First Sem 2010-2011

For all I know, this could be my last first sem here in UP, or at least last first sem as an undergraduate. Being in a Graduating status feels nice, makes the enrollment process quite easier too.

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In Roland Garros news, Robin Soderling has defeated yet again another World No. 1 and defending champion, this time being Roger Federer. Too bad I missed the match, I'll download it later. Now, I want a Soderling Rafa final. Hmmf.

Eureka Moment

Last April 7 was IPL's graduation party, held at UP Balay Kalinaw. Not that there's something special this time, it was composed of the usual message to the graduates marathon and AVP fest. But what I really loved about it was Ma'am Jing's message to her advisees, and to the whole of Instru as well.

First, let me introduce you to Ma'am Jing. She is Dr. Maricor Soriano, an Associate Professor at the National Institute of Physics. She specializes in image processing, and she's been my teacher for three subjects as of last semester. Anyone can attest how hardworking and how passionate Ma'am Jing is, it is an honor to know her and belong in the same laboratory as her.

She opened her message citing the eureka moments of her advisees who will graduate this school year: Ate Lau, Kuya Vars, Ate Cherry and Ate Kaye. When you are troubleshooting for days and a spark of realization hits you, that is a eureka moment.  When you keep on running your simulations and then find a very viable solution, that is a eureka moment. When you calibrate your sensors exactly right to be able to gather all the needed data, that is eureka moment. She said that her eureka moment was to have led her students to their eureka moments. And that from there, she needn't do anything and all she needs to do is to stay back and let things fall into place.

A eureka moment in research, or in any endeavor, really buoys you up. It gives you a certain momentum to keep on going, to keep on working even if it's 3 in the morning. It is such a great feeling to realize something significant when you've been working at something for so long. It's like a pat in the back that you're doing well and what you're doing is correct. Ay. How I wish moments like that happen more often. But can only think of two ways to increase the frequency of eureka moments, to work more frequently and to work more rigorously.

Ma'am Jing made me realize that I do want my eureka moment(s?) and I want my adviser to have his eureka moment while I have mine. Actually, I think I miss being eager to do research and I miss being fueled by good news to present in my RM.

After my social life suicidal decision to take Bio 11 this summer, I will have my eureka moment, hopefully more than once.

Stat mech at 1 am. Indescribable.

As in.

My sem is not over. I am finishing my Physics 151 prob set due at 4pm today. I can't cram to the last minute since I have Physics 192 reporting at 2pm and I will travel back to Manila this morning. After today, I have two more grueling days of cramming: postlabs, a project, and a grad party.

Postlabs. Applied Physics 185 postlabs to be exact. I cannot fully express the frustration I have with electronics. It adds to my innate resentment of the field even more. Pano ka gaganahan kung ayaw gumana ng set up mo?

Project. For Applied Physics 185, surprise, surprise. Ma'am Jing told us about it on the last week of classes. It would've helped a lot if we knew we had to make a project waaaaaay before crunch time. Naku naman kasi.

Grad party. I actually enjoy planning, but this time I can't say that I do. Grabe. There is so much to do, and only a few of us BS IV are actively planning and thinking. It's so hard to contact people as well. I know it's Holy Week and everyone has his or her own academic requirements to fulfill, but what about this other responsibility?

I feel guilty having slacked off the whole time I'm here at home. This is the only break I have, more like pseudo-break pala, and I wanted to rest a bit. Hay. What's done is done. What's left to do is all that matters now.

Bio, yeah you.

I have decided to take Bio 11 this summer. I have been firm that I will not take it during summer, because it will eat up my entire term. However, recent developments that being no Physics 161 will be offered this summer, I am forced to rearrange my plans. 

It is most logical that I take it this summer than in the coming semesters since I think it will be very difficult to take parallel with my thesis. Ah. But this is a very big deal for me. I hardly like Bio, and to immense myself in it seven hours a day everyday is a little masochistic for my taste. I am not a fan of masochism by the way.

The things you do because of pure good reason. There's no debate that this choice is the best, given my circumstances. But I feel that I am giving up so much. Bye research afternoons. Bye spontaneous lakwatsa. Bye social life.

Hay, Bio.